If you are a man struggling between your relationship and life purpose, choose the latter. Your purpose should always come first before your romantic relationship. Think about it. If a woman picks you despite the many great and more excellent men in her life, be thankful. That is because there is something she sees in you that she can’t find in them. It is something about your purpose and direction in your life that made her want you.
The Way Of The Superior Man By David Deida
If you are not familiar with the book, allow me to share its concept. One thing about it that men should take note is that not all women are the same. Men might think that women are more into physical attraction, hardworking men, honest individuals, or to say at least. A lot of them want a man that knows his purpose. You see, the problem with the most relationship does not originate by accident. All of the issues around the romantic relationship happen because of the choices someone is doing. And one of those is choosing a relationship over a purpose.
“Focusing only on gender differences when dealing with our partners tends to oversimplify things and exaggerate the truth, leading to less, not more, understanding of one another,” writes Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D.
I get that. When a man is in a relationship, he values his partner. There is this eagerness of wanting to give her everything even if she is not asking for it. However, that becomes one of the mistakes he does. Imagine you are a fun and exciting person. Your woman loves you because you are outgoing, adventurous, and a free-spirit. With that, she decides to go on a journey with you because she knows it will be fun to be around a person like you. But instead of allowing her to come on a journey with you, you prioritized her. You begin choosing the relationship over the kind of life you desire because you want to be with her. You become unaware that the reason why she is into you is because of your value to yourself.
The book also points out the concept of a man’s responsibility for the course of the relationship. There are the basics of decision-making. Sometimes, even the stupid ones appear included as well. When a man puts too much of his everything for the woman she loves, it is the woman’s nature to leave him. With that, two persons are getting dragged in an unfortunate situation. But only one of them suffers the judgment – and that is the woman. You see, people do not understand that human nature is so complicated that everyone gets to feel confused about everything.
“Owning what’s yours—mistakes and blunders included—is a sign of maturity, but owning everybody else’s mistakes and blunders, not to mention tasks, duties, and emotions, is a sign of over-responsibility,” writes Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, PhD.
There are so many examples in the book where it shows the same messages. But throughout the whole read, it ends up in a valuable lesson. It is all about the man’s attitude of improving himself and his relationship. That is through the process of gathering experience, caring more for his significant other, and understanding female psychology. I am not saying that all burdens should go to a man’s side. But when you think about it, the betterment of the relationship supports reciprocated acts that start from the guy.
“When we take these steps of interrupting harmful behaviors in our relationship and identifying patterns from our past, we start a journey of self-discovery that can be both deeply painful and richly rewarding,” writes Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.