Relationship Book Of David Deida


If you are a man struggling between your relationship and life purpose, choose the latter. Your purpose should always come first before your romantic relationship. Think about it. If a woman picks you despite the many great and more excellent men in her life, be thankful. That is because there is something she sees in you that she can’t find in them. It is something about your purpose and direction in your life that made her want you.

The Way Of The Superior Man By David Deida

If you are not familiar with the book, allow me to share its concept. One thing about it that men should take note is that not all women are the same. Men might think that women are more into physical attraction, hardworking men, honest individuals, or to say at least. A lot of them want a man that knows his purpose. You see, the problem with the most relationship does not originate by accident. All of the issues around the romantic relationship happen because of the choices someone is doing. And one of those is choosing a relationship over a purpose.

“Focusing only on gender differences when dealing with our partners tends to oversimplify things and exaggerate the truth, leading to less, not more, understanding of one another,” writes Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D.


I get that. When a man is in a relationship, he values his partner. There is this eagerness of wanting to give her everything even if she is not asking for it. However, that becomes one of the mistakes he does. Imagine you are a fun and exciting person. Your woman loves you because you are outgoing, adventurous, and a free-spirit. With that, she decides to go on a journey with you because she knows it will be fun to be around a person like you. But instead of allowing her to come on a journey with you, you prioritized her. You begin choosing the relationship over the kind of life you desire because you want to be with her. You become unaware that the reason why she is into you is because of your value to yourself.

The book also points out the concept of a man’s responsibility for the course of the relationship. There are the basics of decision-making. Sometimes, even the stupid ones appear included as well. When a man puts too much of his everything for the woman she loves, it is the woman’s nature to leave him. With that, two persons are getting dragged in an unfortunate situation. But only one of them suffers the judgment – and that is the woman. You see, people do not understand that human nature is so complicated that everyone gets to feel confused about everything.

“Owning what’s yours—mistakes and blunders included—is a sign of maturity, but owning everybody else’s mistakes and blunders, not to mention tasks, duties, and emotions, is a sign of over-responsibility,” writes Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, PhD.



There are so many examples in the book where it shows the same messages. But throughout the whole read, it ends up in a valuable lesson. It is all about the man’s attitude of improving himself and his relationship. That is through the process of gathering experience, caring more for his significant other, and understanding female psychology. I am not saying that all burdens should go to a man’s side. But when you think about it, the betterment of the relationship supports reciprocated acts that start from the guy.

“When we take these steps of interrupting harmful behaviors in our relationship and identifying patterns from our past, we start a journey of self-discovery that can be both deeply painful and richly rewarding,” writes Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Books That Can Change Someone’s Life (Part II)


You are probably reading this article because you already read the first part. It is where I shared a couple of books from Tim Ferris, Nick Winter, Neil Pasricha, and Stephen Covey. So now, I will try and add some books that will complete the list. Same as the last, these are the books that may or may not have an accurate representation of life, but these prove to make some points as well. So with that, here are the additional books that can change someone’s life.

Pragmatic Thinking And Learning (Andy Hunt) – I know a lot of people will agree to me that this is one of the best productivity books out there. One of its useful tidbits is the creation of habit where one should capture insight 24/7. It creates a direct inspiration to always having a way of getting ideas and information. There is an emphasis on taking notes often, regardless of what a person is doing. The book also has some tips on how to work on proper note-taking as well as constructing ideas correctly. “The mind screams that this is inconsistent. It’s not. Commitment is not about never failing, but about getting back up each time you do. And then committing again,” writes Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D.

The War Of Art (Steven Pressfield) – It is a book that demonstrates and articulates the idea of bringing something meaningful into the world. Reading the book helps people to understand the value of fighting the battle of working on things. The concept of the book talks about the ways of handling procrastination so individuals can bring their craft in reality. Since people are more into finding ways on how to start doing things, they often forget to work on staying on what they are doing. The book enables a better understanding of what needs to get done. “Delay and procrastination are not the same things,” Timothy A. Pychyl, PhD, says. “Let’s not confuse deliberate, thoughtful delay of action with the lack of self-regulatory ability known as procrastination.”


Thinking Fast And Slow (Daniel Kahneman) – It is one of the densest books on the list because of detailed knowledge of biases and heuristics. It has something to do with people’s mental ability to take and make decisions that sometimes lead to faulty thinking. The concept of the book is to help someone in stepping back before making any life-changing move. The idea is to build a concrete road to a targeted goal. But one the best effect of the book is the boosting of someone’s interest in general knowledge. Since the book tackles a lot of different topics, there is an enabler of growth in the mind’s bank of knowledge.

The Dip (Seth Godin) – Set Godin is a fantastic writer who writes a variety of well-known books. But The Dip is one of his most famous creations. It is written short and is very digestible. The book does not only talk about the right attitude into achieving success but also emphasizes on the traits that hinder it. The concept of the book focuses more on boosting people’s mental strength every time they enter a place where they find things a little to worse difficult. “A person with mental toughness faces challenges directly and is effective in solving them. I believe that someone who’s mentally tough has a combination of willpower, skill and resilience,” writes Gary Seeman, Ph.D.


For most people, it might take a while to absorb the lessons of these books. However, the incorporation of some of the ideas from the books can help in people’s significant value of change.

Books That Can Change Someone’s Life


“[B]ooks are an invaluable but underutilized resource that can increase empathy, enhance recovery and inspire those with mental health difficulties,” wrote Rob Whitley, PhD. “As such, reading should be encouraged for everybody, but particularly those with mental illness—whether through formal bibliotherapy groups or individual prompting from family, friends or clinicians.”

This includes not only fiction books but also inspirational and self-help books. “Self-improvement books now account for at least a $2.5 billion a year industry in the U.S. alone, increasing since 1972 to at least 2.5% of the total number of books in print,” wrote Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD. However, she reminds us, “Getting the wrong self-help book can actually set you back in your search for answers to the dilemmas facing you in your life right now.”

For a start, I will not be going to say that these books I am going to share with you are the best in the world. Some may agree that these books are not that well-written or engaging at some point. However, they are the ones that share at least one idea, and that is to change someone’s trajectory life for the better.

The Motivation Hacker (Nick Winter) – It is probably the book on the list that is the least well-known. However, it is a book that can significantly create a significant impact on someone’s life. One of the main concepts that an individual can get from this book is the spiraling idea of success. It contains the fundamental truths about building the right mindful habits. It includes staring something small before doing something big. It is excellent for those individuals who can’t seem to understand why they always fail every time they set up a goal. The book emphasizes on starting a goal that can be tracked and does not demand any absolute perfection in one attempt.

The 4-Hour Workweek (Tim Ferris) – It is the book that targets someone’s professional life more than anything. The concept talks about the proper way of building a system that enables profit for the business. That is especially even if the individual is not entirely putting too much effort into handling a business. Honestly, the idea of the book is not as straightforward as it might seem. Some may agree that it is even more complicated at some point. However, the whole concept can help someone in changing his professional life.  Not only on the way he wanted but also on the way he is supposed to do.


The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People (Stephen Covey) – It is probably the most well-known book that targets personal development. It proves to create a significant impact on someone’s life due to its excellent and straightforward concept. That is to “seek to understand, and then get understood.” You see, a lot of people are having problems in listening. There is always this eagerness to respond rather than trying to understand a subject. So when both people are in the same state, no one entirely understands each other. The book’s concept is trying to create an evaluation so that real communication can happen.

The Happiness Equation (Neil Pasricha) – It is a book that explains a lot about happiness consistently on a day-to-day basis. However, the totality of its idea stays focus on one particular subject, and that is retirement. It is where someone focuses on relaxation after years of hard work. The concept of retirement was once for aged people who will become the state’s responsibility. However, in the recent generation, it already became a goal in life. The book explains that the whole idea of just stopping at a particular age is not human nature. That is because humans are born to progress. So when they stop doing something, it means a waste of time.


According to Marty Nemko, PhD, “It’s not surprising that a well-chosen book would aid self-improvement in the general population. But meta-analyses also report bibliotherapy’s effectiveness in helping teens with mild depression or anxiety, as do individual studies of mild depression with young adults, and of mild to moderate depression in older adults.”

So if you already like these books, then you should get a copy of each. Also, check out the rest of the list on the second part of this article.

Children’s Books That Instill Valuable Life Lessons



Whether they’re long or short, books are a way of inspiring and awakening the mind and spirit. They can serve as a porthole to another world through one’s imaginations. And as much as our parents, doctors, and therapists can help us learn how to deal with life when we are adults, books are children’s key to discovering some of the most valuable lessons about the value of family, of love, and life. According to child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim, Ph.D, a good children’s book must “promote [the child’s] ability to find meaning in life…It must stimulate his imagination; help him to develop his intellect and to clarify his emotions; be attuned to his anxieties and aspirations; give full recognition to his difficulties, while at the same time suggesting solutions to the problems which perturb him.” These books are not only limited to the fantasy or magical theme but include other genres as long as they tell a story, and they evoke feeling and inspiration. “In books, a child can find others who think like he does, or who cope with challenges he thinks are unique to him (like being deaf, or dealing with mental illness or loss),” says Dona Matthews, Ph.D. “This can be a catalyst for him feeling okay about himself, and discovering the strength in his own unique way of being.”

Below is a list of our best books for kids and children that instill valuable lessons to people of all ages.


Best-Selling Books That Focus On Mental Illness


Mental illness, such as anxiety and depression, is a damaging condition that works in silence. It is too difficult at some point to recognize its symptoms because not everyone shares the same experience and level of dysfunction. There are people with anxiety and depression who perfectly look okay. Then there are the ones who struggle too much that it becomes hard not to notice. If this circumstance brings confusion, there are easy ways you can understand it better. One way is through reading. A lot of books out there can become beneficial in providing you with the different information you might need for future reference. In this article, I will enumerate some of the most helpful books you might want to consider checking out.

Speak (1999)

Speak is a written novel by Laurie Halse Anderson. Its story revolves around in its protagonist named Melinda. She’s an alienated girl who usually isolates herself from the crowd. The topic of rape surrounds the book itself. It is what causes clinical depression and general anxiety to the main character. The book talks more about sensitive issues, secrecy, as well as family and relationship problems. There’s a significant chance that you can get caught up in the story because it will make you feel that no one is safe from experiencing an unfortunate thing such as rape. But even though that’s the case, you’ll be able to end up thanking yourself for not giving up to your psychological condition. The book will make you realize that you are not alone in any battle. That whatever it is you are going through, there is always someone out there that struggles with you during the same time.


Thirteen Reasons Why (2007)

Jay Asher is the author of the most sought after novel entitled “Thirteen Reasons Why,” If you think why the title seems familiar, that’s because it is now a running series on Netflix. In the book, the story typically focuses on depression due to bullying and betrayal. It becomes a serious matter because the stress, anxiety, and pressure, eventually led to the victim’s suicide. The girl then sends out 13 recorded tapes specifically for 13 persons. The book depicts the reality of how a series of torments can psychologically and emotional damage someone without others noticing it. In some instances, this book can directly relate to most teenage depression. The primary lesson in this written masterpiece is that whatever things come your way, suicide shouldn’t have to be an option. It doesn’t resolve and change anything. With suicide, only the one who committed it loses the emotional and mental battle.

13 Reasons Why has opened the door for families and communities to discuss life as a teenager in the 21st century. Specifically, the kinds of social pressures that occur for some children and teens — the micro-aggressions found in hallways, school buses, lunch rooms, online, and otherwise, as well as the traumatic issues of bullying, social injustice, sexual assault, and suicide,” writes Deborah Serani, Psy.D.

Perks Of Being A Wallflower (1999)

If you’re also familiar with the title, yes, that’s Emma Watson’s movie from a best-selling novel by Stephen Chbosky. It follows a high school kid named Charlie that struggles in fitting in his freshman year on his new school. He’s an introvert individual that suffers from depression and anxiety. The book represents a significant outlet for those teenagers who can’t seem to acknowledge their emotional and mental needs. That even though they already know their condition, they still get blinded by the idea of it not causing a big of a deal. The book depicts mental state as a usual thing that happens to everyone. It focuses on those individuals who don’t pay attention to their feelings where they become trapped in a self-build room of isolation.

“I would argue that stories like the one told in The Perks of Being a Wallflower can help young people work out their own stories,” writes Skip Dine Young, Ph.D.


It’s Kind Of A Funny Story (2006)

Ned Vizzini, the author of the novel, wrote the “somewhat” mature masterpiece from a personal battle of depression. It speaks with mental illness where the symptoms become severe that author also ends up killing himself. The book is a representation of teenage life where there’s a struggle with peer and family pressure, relationship issues, sexual desires, and even drugs and substance abuse. The whole focus of the story depicts the reality of how a teenager thinks, responds, and handles his issues and desires without considering the consequences. Craig, the character in the novel is an utter illustration of jealousy, failure, agitation, exhaustion, and irrationality. All of these traits contribute to the adherence of depression.

“It’s very hard to have a son or daughter who is going through depression, and parents desperately want to help them,” psychologist Timothy J. Strauman, PhD, says. “You can’t take their depression away. You can make sure they are getting good treatment and be patient with it.”

These are just some of the best-selling books you might want to consider reading. Don’t hesitate to check out more if you wish to.

An Author’s Guide To Dealing With Anxiety

One of the common problems that authors face is experiencing a writer’s block. Sometimes, no matter how much one wanted to come up with a beautiful piece, he just can’t. If this continues to happen in the long run, it is possible for the writer to suffer from stress and anxiety. If you do not want the same thing to happen to you, it is crucial for you to continue looking for inspiration. As long as you have one, it will be easier on your part to keep going.




At this point, it is vital or crucial to point out the reality that a lot of things may cause anxiety in your life as an author. Because of this, you have to master the different ways on how to deal with anxiety. The goal is to eliminate it in your life. The process may be complicated, but everything is going to be worth it in the end. Below are some of the tips to follow if you want to handle anxiety smarter:

 Change Your Mindset


Let go of negative thoughts and emotions. Instead, welcome a life that is full of positivity. You have to convince yourself that everything in your life is going to get better so that you can eliminate the anxious thoughts. The change is not going to be an easy thing to do. However, with the right attitude and dedication, you can achieve it. Learn how to focus on the great things and experiences that you have instead of the bad ones.


Accept Imperfections


Stop pressuring yourself into becoming perfect. Take note that no matter what you do, you will not reach a certain point of absolute perfection. “When we believe that our mistakes reflect poorly on us, and when we feel that other people are constantly judging us for those mistakes or difficulties, it can create a lot of anxiety,” wrote Elizabeth Cush, MA, LCPC. She added, “You can be your own worst enemy because the perception that you need to be perfect all the time or people will criticize you often sets off a firestorm of critical self-talk.”


Remember that there will always be an extra room for error and mistake, and it is completely okay. What you have to do is to accept these imperfections so that no one can use it against you.




Keep Yourself Busy


When you are stressed about something, it is ideal if you will keep on moving. “Taking action by doing something, almost anything, will help you work through your anxiety,” wrote Barton Goldsmith, PhD, LMFT. Find time to do certain activities that are within your range of interests. Dr. Goldsmith added, “Do what works best for you at the moment and don’t worry about breaking your normal routine, that change may actually help reduce your anxiety.”


The objective is to look for ways to keep yourself busy. The purpose of this is to ensure that you will be pre-occupied for other things that honestly matter. When you are busy, you will not have the luxury of time to worry about certain things.


Connect With Other Writers


Writers usually share the same dilemmas and problems, especially when it comes to their career in the professional world. If you are already losing focus on your goals as an author, maybe all you have to do is to search for other writers who can help you see a different perspective. Find the right set of individuals who may inspire you to continue your passion for writing. Having the right support group can be a big help on your part.


Escape For A While


Do not be afraid to run away to a different city or country. Sometimes, all you have to do is to travel and explore a brand new place. Emerging in a new community and seeing new stuff can make you feel better about your life. You will feel excitement and admiration about your professional career. As such, you must find time to do this. A perfect escape is one that you do with the person you love.




Log Off Online


Often, all that you may need is to log out from your social media accounts and avoid using it for a certain period. The decision depends on your taste and preference. Take note that being available online can take a toll in your writing style and inspiration.


Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders noted, “You’d think that taking away uncertainty would make us less anxious. But instead, because technology has lessened our experience handling uncertainty, we’re less prepared to deal with ambiguity when it arises.” Because of this, it is highly encouraged to leave your online mark for a little while and focus on things that matter.




Anxiety and stress are only normal in the life of a writer. Because of this, you must focus on eliminating the said negative mental health conditions by following the tips mentioned above. Your success will not happen overnight, but if you are consistent in doing the right things, everything will be all right. Feel free to contact or get in touch with a therapist or counselor if you believe your mental state is not in good shape.


5 Great Books About Family


This last quarter of the year usually arouses mixed feelings within me. I become excited about going to the malls to buy Christmas décor and some gifts, and I love the feeling of walking the streets with the tune of the Holidays in the background. On the other hand, I also get nervous and depressed because this is the time of year that families come together. We, like most families, are not perfect. We have our internal battles and the arguments that we choose to voice out during the past dinners. Are things going to work out now? Are the hurts going to mend this time?



I am the type of person who is eager to learn new things just to have a happy family. I want to learn about other families – how they live, what they do when they disagree, why they have succeeded in being together. This is why I have read quite a number of books about family relationships. And this article is all about my five favorite family books – those that have hit a nerve and affected the way I think about my family. Read on and find out what my favorites are.

5 Books About Family That I Recommend


  • Reunion by Hannah Pittard. This one you might want to read when you’re stuck at the airport waiting for your flight. You won’t notice how time has flown by.

 The story of Kate and how she deals with the pain of knowing about her father’s death while she was sitting on a plane is heart-wrenching. While she and her dad are estranged, Pittard doesn’t take away the love for family when she writes about Kate reuniting with her siblings and half-siblings and how the detachment has changed (and has not changed) her life.

“Having the loss of a parent disrupts our foundation—our sense of security and safety, having secure attachment, having this parent provide everything that parents provide for us. That all gets blown to pieces when we lose a parent,” says Dan Wolfson, Psy.D.

  • Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. I had trouble sleeping when I started reading this book because I didn’t want to stop!



The Binewskis are an odd family – odd because they all work in the circus, and odder because of the children’s physical oddities. They were born with abnormalities due to genetic mutations and incompatibilities. You will feel pity and love for this family as they tell their circus tales in the different places they travel. Be inspired by the little things that make them happy – like talking and sleeping under the stars, beside elephant dung!


  • Infinite Home by Kathleen Alcott.

Some people live away from home to study or work, and the people they live with become their family. Alcott’s presentation of characters in her novel has allowed me to learn different types of individuals. The drama over the landlady’s death and how the lives of her residents have affected them is a tearjerker.


  • The Particular Sadness Of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. Rose reminisces the love of her mother every time she takes a bite of her lemon cake. This book depicts how a nine-year-old girl copes with loss and grief when she loses her mother at an early age. Bender uses the lemon cake to represent a memory of a loved one and how someone so young has used this memory to learn beautiful insights on life. “The long-term consequences of losing a parent at a young age can persist well into adulthood—which is why it is essential that bereaved children and their surviving parents get the help they need to deal with this loss,” writes Romeo Vitelli, Ph.D.




  • Among The Ten Thousand Things by Julia Pierpont. A story about two children who discovered the affair of their father with a younger woman. Here you will read how a simple family with simple dreams of being happy has grown further apart because of their father’s mistake. A different take on family and survival. “If you feel betrayed, healing and growth begins with the realization that you are not damaged, but your relationship is. You must heal first and, if you so choose, attempt repair later,” writes Steven Stosny, Ph.D.


My Thoughts


Whenever I am stressed or worried about family or just about anything, I try to remember the things I learn from the books I read. Truly, it is amazing how they can turn my mood around, especially when I think about how lucky I am to have a family of my own who loves me and whom I love. Perhaps you might want to try this habit of mine. I hope it’ll help you too.




The Evaluation Of Self-Help Books For Therapy


A lot of people are trying to look for a book that is helpful and meaningful. It’s the search for different kinds of resources that can help the most out of emotional, psychological, and behavioral change. However, finding a lot of resources can entirely become so overwhelming. Some helpful books contain extreme promises such as attaining full mental wellness, having better relationships, understanding your emotions better, or getting rid of anxiety and depression. “It’s not surprising that a well-chosen book would aid self-improvement in the general population. But meta-analyses also report bibliotherapy’s effectiveness in helping teens with mild depression or anxiety, as do individual studies of mild depression with young adults, and of mild to moderate depression in older adults,” Marty Nemko, Ph.D. wrote. But how do you know which books to trust? Are they evidence-based or supported explicitly by science? How confident are you that all of these books can create an essential long-term quality of life increase? Let’s try to understand the relevant factors of self-help books for therapy discussion.

How To Choose The Right Self-Help Book

When choosing a book, there must be an evaluation so it can determine its beneficial approach to people in a randomized controlled trial. The books themselves should undergo a process of assessment to determine if they are evidence-based. There must be a trial because the materials that people will read could just be written by some random person who gets inspired by his ideas. There are tendencies that these ideas are not based or grounded at any particular theory. According to John C. Norcross, Ph.D., “Ninety-five percent of self-help books are published without any scientific evidence to support that they work as self-help.”


What science approves can unquestionably help in addressing severe issues, mental health in particular. The suffering from a mental health-related problem requires specific research and study. Therefore, some self-help books might not be appropriate for different types of situations. Self-help can indeed become harmful when it comes to decision-making, specifically when it comes to a significant transition in life. There are tons of bad pieces of advice out there, and not all of them apply to everybody. So figuring out what could help is a bit crucial for every person’s mental health.

Practice Vs. Advice

Rather than taking advice from the books that look interesting, people should consider looking at the content of practices that are scientifically helpful. Psychologist Barbara Markway, Ph.D. notes, “Look for a book that provides specific guidance for implementing the self-help techniques. Flip through the book and see if it looks like the book contains step-by-step, user-friendly instructions.” These are the practices or methods that they can introduce for adaptation in everyday life. These practices follow different stages that address a variety of mental, emotional, and behavioral struggles. There’s a procedure in practices that can help people interact with their pain and do new things rather than merely being told about what should and should not be done. The reality doesn’t support advice, but evidence-based practices are proven to help and empower people so they can make decisions and get through hard times with their wisdom and effort. However, given the books, a consideration for a little bit of followup with professional help is still required.


People’s mental wellness matter so there’s a need to take care of it. There are a lot of resources that help in positive thinking. Some books promote meaningful things that guide every individual to live their lives beyond the struggle of pain. In a randomized control trial, the chosen books must tackle discipline, self-evaluation, practices, recovery procedure, and long-term attainable mental health goals.